Zany Traffic Woes in Metro Manila

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Moving forward in EDSA traffic will take an eternity, unless you travel back in time.

Traffic in Manila is getting worse, Jose Rizal would have decided to relocate his monument in Dapitan.

Driving a manual transmission car in traffic always give you numbing leg cramps. In no time you will be driving a wheel chair.

Driving in Metro Manila using automatic transmission car will put you in the same class with professional tennis players. The tennis elbow class.

Motorcycle riders weaving in and out of traffic is one way of saying to car drivers that they are stuck.

Traffic light in a rotunda just like the one in Taytay is like building a dam that stores water. It's one way to build traffic.

Road rage is prevalent during traffic. MMDA should show anger management sessions in digital billboards in EDSA.  Motorist can surely finish one whole session in traffic.

Don't get caught in traffic with a bad stomach, the car air freshener won't be of help.

The urge to pee in traffic is difficult to hold, you will need a bottle. Just don't forget to empty the bottle when the car aircon quits and a passenger gets thirsty.

Enforcers like to stand in the middle of the road and manage the traffic helplessly.

If there's traffic in any secondary road up ahead, a Jeepney is behind it.

Buses in Metro Manila are like tour buses.  The stops in between takes hours before moving on to the next stop.

Carmageddon is an apocalytic version of car driven by catatonic drivers.  "Driving Dead" would make a good apocalytic TV series title.

In water crisis you can't drink. For transport crisis you can't move.

There was a Manny Pacquiao fight one time where there was virtually no traffic in Metro Manila. Government should support more Filipino boxers to reduce traffic.

Any appointed traffic czars to solve traffic in Metro Manila will suffer the same fate as Russia's last Czar. Appointees should buy insurance and make their will before accepting the post.

The number coding scheme to reduce vehicle volume  is like a Boracay sand castle near the shore during high tide. It's beautiful but it's be hopeless.

You can see young people riding Angkas motorcycles. The motorcycle ride hailing app should require their drivers to provide oxygen mask so that their riders will reach their destination - old age.

Metro Manila will someday be one big hospital, kids would want to be doctors because of the number coding scheme exception.

There are now three constants in Metro Manila - death, taxes and traffic.

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