The Christmas Countdown Jokes

-
"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me," her wish list or it will be a "Silent Night."

The morning news usually announces the Christmas countdown. Another countdown is happening. Will Vice Ganda go on an extended Christmas vacation?

There is something worst than amnesia during Christmas day. When it's gift giving time you forgot one gift - for your mother in law.

As Christmas nears, puto bungbongs are being cooked in steam pipes. It's like wives nagging  their husbands about their daily holiday drinking spree.

Countdown to Christmas is like a time bomb, you don't know what will explode your belly or your arteries.

Too many Christmas parties become overwhelming. It reaches to a point like a jail inmate marking Xs on the wall until freedom day.

When you go on trip to buy gifts in Divisoria, you might chance upon Isko Moreno who has his own countdown with vendors if they don't tidy up.

Every house is stringing Christmas lights and its becoming a contest. If this will go on Santa will not be visiting houses, but the fireman will.

The Christmas countdown is all about Family members sitting around the table for Noche Buena.  It's actually a ceasefire of hostilities among young siblings.

Christmas countdown is when your 13th month pay is fast disappearing before December 25.

As the countdown to Christmas nears, taxi drivers develop stiff necks.

Christmas countdown is also a contest among young siblings who will get the most money and gifts.  Mothers are already planning their emergency loan.

Holiday shopping is very addictive. Husbands should get rid of the drugs - credit cards.

Before December 25, addict online shoppers will suffer nightmares due to poor internet connection and arthritic hands.

As the days grow colder, perfume and cologne sales will increase because people will bathe less.

During the Christmas countdown, both Santa and Jose Marie Chan share the same spotlight.  Jose Marie Chan is more popular because of his songs. Santa's talent is limited to "ho ho ho!"

People lining up in department stores and fastfoods are no longer counting the days to Christmas, but counting the many people ahead of them until the cashier.

Even in December social media is abuzz with glad tidings from well-wishers including trolls bearing gifts of bashing.

During Christmas, Manuel L. Quezon with a chinese twist is popular among godchildren, nephews and nieces.

Rappers make good money nowadays, carolers should follow their lead.

During the Christmas countdown, parents are trying to be creative in convincing their demanding children to settle for the less expensive toys. It always backfires, because they somehow end up buying the more expensive toys.

Panda's side hustle is food delivery when not doing a Disney movie.  Jollibee's Christmas wish is to be offered a Disney movie besides being a full time mascot.















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Seventies - The "Disco" Era

-
Image
The seventies was undoubtedly the "disco" era.  As a teenager, I listened and danced to the distinct sound of that era. When "Saturday Night Fever" hit the movie theaters in 1978,  I became an avid fan of the Bee Gees and other bands that played the disco sound.   Besides listening to disco sound, I also mimicked dance steps like the "swing" and "L.A. shuffle" from a local popular TV show the "Penthouse Seven." I strutted my stuff every time  I danced with a partner at birthday parties held in friends' residences. Bands that dished out disco tunes during the '70s were  ABBA  with their  song "Dancing Queen";   Donna Summer 's   goosebumps-raising song "Last Dance."  Other bands like  KC and the Sunshine Band ,  The Trammps ,  Van McCoy ,  Gloria Gaynor ,  The Village People ,  Chic , and  The Jacksons   also flooded the radio airwaves in the '70s .   I even followed their progress over the loc
Read more

Grandfather@50

-
Image
I will be turning 50 before the  end of this year, and what better way to usher in my golden boy status is becoming a bonafide grandfather.  I now have a grandson, his name is Samien. He was born on April 25, 2012. His parents say that the name means "to be heard".  I guess their choice was right because when Samien cries, he is really heard by everybody. I noticed remarkable things in Samien.  While just a new born, he showed to us that he has strong legs and arms.  He can push himself upwards in the crib and was tireless in raising his small arms every  now and then.  Also, he is not the quiet type because he always cries and laughs unlike other babies inside the nursery who are peacefully asleep.  At three months old, he speaks amusing although unintelligible syllables.  Also, at three months, he is rather long for babies his age and quite heavy for a three month old baby.  He weighed in at 5 kilogram during his visit to his pediatrician. Samien, quite surprisingly
Read more

Organic Rice in the Philippines For Healthy Living

-
Image
Do you prefer healthy living? Go organic rice! Health buffs would like to get their hands on real organic rice. If you're one of them, do you know which ones are authentic organic rice? This blog will tell you all you need to know about organic rice. Some people think that organic rice is red and brown rice variety only.  Not really. It comes in other varieties and colors such as white, black, etc.  The idea that red and brown alone are organic rice is wrong.  These rice varieties are now sold under specific brands in leading supermarkets in the Philippines, however, not all of them are organic rice. But how will you know if you're buying organic rice or not? Organic rice is farmed without using synthetic fertilizer and chemical pesticide inputs. Besides the inputs, there are other things to consider such as -  How was it planted? What were the farming methods used? Was there contamination along the supply chain until it has reached the end consumer? There are variet
Read more