The Christmas Countdown Jokes

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"On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me," her wish list or it will be a "Silent Night."

The morning news usually announces the Christmas countdown. Another countdown is happening. Will Vice Ganda go on an extended Christmas vacation?

There is something worst than amnesia during Christmas day. When it's gift giving time you forgot one gift - for your mother in law.

As Christmas nears, puto bungbongs are being cooked in steam pipes. It's like wives nagging  their husbands about their daily holiday drinking spree.

Countdown to Christmas is like a time bomb, you don't know what will explode your belly or your arteries.

Too many Christmas parties become overwhelming. It reaches to a point like a jail inmate marking Xs on the wall until freedom day.

When you go on trip to buy gifts in Divisoria, you might chance upon Isko Moreno who has his own countdown with vendors if they don't tidy up.

Every house is stringing Christmas lights and its becoming a contest. If this will go on Santa will not be visiting houses, but the fireman will.

The Christmas countdown is all about Family members sitting around the table for Noche Buena.  It's actually a ceasefire of hostilities among young siblings.

Christmas countdown is when your 13th month pay is fast disappearing before December 25.

As the countdown to Christmas nears, taxi drivers develop stiff necks.

Christmas countdown is also a contest among young siblings who will get the most money and gifts.  Mothers are already planning their emergency loan.

Holiday shopping is very addictive. Husbands should get rid of the drugs - credit cards.

Before December 25, addict online shoppers will suffer nightmares due to poor internet connection and arthritic hands.

As the days grow colder, perfume and cologne sales will increase because people will bathe less.

During the Christmas countdown, both Santa and Jose Marie Chan share the same spotlight.  Jose Marie Chan is more popular because of his songs. Santa's talent is limited to "ho ho ho!"

People lining up in department stores and fastfoods are no longer counting the days to Christmas, but counting the many people ahead of them until the cashier.

Even in December social media is abuzz with glad tidings from well-wishers including trolls bearing gifts of bashing.

During Christmas, Manuel L. Quezon with a chinese twist is popular among godchildren, nephews and nieces.

Rappers make good money nowadays, carolers should follow their lead.

During the Christmas countdown, parents are trying to be creative in convincing their demanding children to settle for the less expensive toys. It always backfires, because they somehow end up buying the more expensive toys.

Panda's side hustle is food delivery when not doing a Disney movie.  Jollibee's Christmas wish is to be offered a Disney movie besides being a full time mascot.















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