Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to irritate you and you're finding it hard to control your emotions?  You keep asking yourself questions as to why a person ticks you off like: Why does he act this way? What was he thinking? 

That's not a good situation to be in, especially in the workplace and you're the manager. It can also be the same as your family members. In cases like this, it pays to know more about emotional intelligence to help you out in those kinds of situations.

People would probably wonder about emotional intelligence if they were born with or can they learn it. Some people, though, do have the knack to control their emotions and use them to their benefit. However, there are a lot of instances where we seem to lose it with someone; and afterward felt bad and wished that we had responded differently.

Online references say that emotional intelligence, "is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically." To add further - "it is the key to both personal and professional success."

The illustration shows self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship are essential for emotional intelligence. These 4 things relate to us internally and externally.  How then can we effectively have these 4 things?

There's this tool which is called the MBTI personality type indicator questionnaire. It's a questionnaire that identifies an individual's personality type. The persons who developed the MBTI questionnaire said that there 16 types of personalities. Each personality type has respective personality preferences. The MBTI questionnaire can help determine personality preferences which can improve our self-awareness and self-management.

Although it would be much better if an accredited expert can do it for us for more accuracy. Anyways you can administer the questionnaire yourself to determine your personality type.

I conducted training for millennial managers last July 22, and I asked them to fill out an MBTI questionnaire.  There were 35 participants all in all, and the first question focuses on personality preference and where they get their energy from. Half of the participants prefer "extraversion" and half toward "introversion."

The other three questions were more on how they process information, how they make decisions, and how they would want to live out their lives.

After establishing the individual personalities, we did an exercise to observe the personality differences close hand. The exercise showed that there are differences indeed. It also showed that manifested behaviors are normal behaviors.

The MBTI questionnaire and the exercise allowed the participants to know more about themselves and others. It opened their minds to personality differences. It allowed them to see the behaviors of their peers, subordinates, and bosses in a different light, and that they are manifestations of normal behavior rather than aberrations.

With this newfound understanding, we would be more mindful of the other's behavior, and our emotional responses would be more guided and not blinded by ignorance or biases.  Understanding is an effective way to teach your emotions. That new understanding can also be used for family and friends.

In the workplace, understanding personality types can help improve emotional intelligence, manage stress reactions, build mutual respect. These are recipes for building an effective team. 

Here's a sample MBTI questionnaire for you to answer, so you can get to know your own personality type. Write your answers, on the line provided on top, which is the bold letter below for each question on the line provided. You can search online for a more detailed explanation of your personality type.

I answered the questionnaire myself years ago when I attended a senior manager's training. It helped me a lot and allowed me to know more of myself and my behavior; which is important for self-awareness and self-management.

It gave me a better insight into the different personality types at work, family, and in my community; which improved my social awareness and how I manage my relationships.

It was able to raise my emotional intelligence a notch higher.